Looking Back at 2015

goodbye 2015
Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016

It was sad parting with 2015 and saying hello to another year. Maybe 2015 has washed away, but it still remains embedded deep within the sea of thoughts and experiences as one of my best years of my life. It was a momentous year of achievements and goals career wise and one that I will look back on fondly. I called it my “getting savvy”  year. There are a lot of things in life that I am brave about; new challenges, meeting new people, new experiences, but I have this insane fear about getting lost and not knowing my way around. Having had to travel at my new job incessantly made me brave about finding my way about places. I think every year brings a series of highs and lows. That’s just life. You can’t always expect to be happy just as you cannot always expect to be sad. However, what made me the most disappointed about 2015 is as much as I have grown as a person and become more “savvy”, there were people who just did not understand me or care to understand me. Those are the ones I lost. I learned that being above board and giving advice sometimes does not help. Many don’t want to hear the truth. The truth is a hard thing to swallow even if you want to give the best kind of advice as a friend. I lost many from being overly honest. No more delivering advice, even if asked for it I will dole it out carefully.

I think 2016 will be for me a “fixit” year. As 2015 was my “get savvy” year, 2016 is definitely trying to adjust my way of thinking and living. What do I mean by this ? It means living a more healthier life in general, eating right, exercising, and getting my health back on track. Without your health you really don’t have anything. Sometimes I feel like I am taking parts of myself out just to get rid of the health issues instead of tackling the root cause. Maybe it’s time for a maintenance checkup.  I can’t get a 2016 shiny model of myself all updated and sparkling. I just have to refurbish the old model. I will go into hell (surely I am not making it to heaven with all my sins) and the devil will turn me out since I am missing so many pieces to myself. I also need to see why I am always losing people in my life even when I try to do the right thing and be a good friend. It doesn’t make sense to me. I wonder…. what am I doing wrong? I suppose this will be the year to be introspective, creative and generally fix things that went wrong in 2015, but that does not mean I won’t keep going on my “savvy” track. And I apologize for not writing much. I have been supremely busy with work but writing has and always will be my passion in life. Thanks to those who keep coming back to see if I am awake.

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