You walked all over my mind last night,
As the stars peeked out from the inky sky,
And the moon lay full and potent with bravado,
Your essence wafted over my senses,
Your hands caressed my thundering heart,
Your words imprinted onto my brain,
Your voice echoed in my ears,
Your wine dipped lips sought mine,
Your eyes sparkled under the silver light,
Your body came to mine,
But night embraced its arms of oblivion protectively,
And took you away…
I have made many mistakes in my life; sometimes some cause more pain than others and leave deep wounds. I realized that I can only move forward when I find it in my heart to forgive myself. So, I opened up my diary to write my thoughts yesterday and this page opened up to the prayer of forgiveness. It was a forceful message for me.
I forgive the tears I was made to shed,
I forgive the pain and the disappointments,
I forgive the betrayals and the lies,
I forgive the slanders and intrigues,
I forgive the hatred and the persecution,
I forgive the blows that hurt me,
I forgive the wrecked dreams,
I forgive the stillborn hopes,
I forgive the hostility and jealousy,
I forgive the indifference and ill will,
I forgive the injustice carried out in the name of justice,
I forgive the anger and the cruelty,
I forgive the neglect and the contempt,
I forgive the world and all its evils
I also forgive myself.
May the misfortunes of the past no longer weigh on my heart.
Instead of pain and resentment, I choose understanding and compassion.
Instead of rebellion, I choose the music from my violin.
Instead of grief, I choose forgetting. Instead of vengeance, I choose victory.
I will be capable of loving, regardless of whether I am loved in return,
Of giving, even when I have nothing,
Of working happily, even in the midst of difficulties,
Of holding out my hand, even when utterly alone and abandoned,
Of drying my tears, even while I weep,
Of believing, even when no one believes in me
— Paulo Coelho, “Aleph”
Crowned in that word.
The sun rises and sets where you sit,
Like Siddharth under the banyan tree,
Have you found yours or do you pour yourself into indulgence?
Revelry. Feast. Drunken pleasures.
Does Bacchus knock on your door nightly,
And then possess you in heady oblivion?
Hedonism is your alter ego,
The siren song that draws you in,
Till you lose yourself.
Till you forget.
It’s a well known cliché.
But where does love remain?
The heart is scattered,
As you roam like a nomad in the Sahara,
Picking up vestiges of that forgotten word,
Does one need to find love to find home?
You long to be the phoenix,
That rises into the saffron sky,
Spreading those wings like fire,
You long to release the spirit,
The joie de vivre,
You are the mirror of my soul,
There’s no religion until you appear,
No soul, no heart, no words,
Godless, faithless, careless,
I am an empty vessel,
Till you fill me,
With your life source.
You are that shining orb of gold, mon soleil d’or,
One look of longing from you and I am,